Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Fear




I was inspired by this quote I read by John Lennon. 




It got me thinking about women and fear. In particularly about how fear holds women back from embracing their true power and potential. We are more often than not ruled by fear. We fear that we aren't mothering our children correctly. We fear the decisions we make. We fear disease. We fear relationships. We fear embracing who we truly are. We do this for a number of reasons. Maybe we've made bad decisions in the past and have had to live with them, so we fear making a similar bad decision. Maybe we weren't raised in the best circumstances so we fear that our children will endure what we did. Maybe we watched a love one die so we fear that we too will meet the same demise as they did. Maybe we have never seen a good relationship or we saw relationships that went very badly so we fear that our relationships will end up the same way. The only problem with this is that when you worry or are constantly afraid of something, you find it preoccupies a lot of your time and begins to drain your energy. 

I see the problem with fear as being twofold. The first problem being, that if you are focusing on what you don't want to happen, it will happen. It is simply the law of attraction at work. The second problem with living in fear is that if you are living in fear of anything, you're not fully experiencing your life. Whether you recognize it or not, being fearful takes a lot of energy. When you are more preoccupied with what you are afraid of and with what you don't want to happen, you miss the bigger life picture. You miss the beauty in what you do have because you’re too focused in what you don’t want to happen.

I lived like this for many years. It wasn't until recently that I was able to let go of a lot of my fears because I realized what a hold it had on my life. My biggest fear was of failing and this crept into all aspects of my life.  I was my own worst enemy. I was always telling myself that I could be doing better or that I shouldn't try something because I wasn't capable of making it work. We all have these self deprecating thoughts that creep into our minds and we all have our own way of dealing with it. Some of us retreat and don't let ourselves get close to the thing that we are afraid of. Others think that they are combating it head on by taking measures to prevent it. Like the person who is afraid of getting cancer, they exercise, deprive themselves of certain things, just to ensure that they don't get taken by this disease. But in the meantime we are all running from the root of the problem.

I encourage us all to examine what drives the fears that we have. Get to a place of quietness where you can become in touch with what it is that you might be in fear of and see how that is holding you back in your life. Figure out how you became afraid of this thing and then find a way to understand it in the context of your current life situation. Evaluated it and see if it still makes sense to continue the fear in your present circumstances.

For instance, I was afraid of failing because there used to be a person in my life that told me I would never amount to anything. Once I was able to see where that fear had come from, I was able to recognize that being afraid of failure wasn’t valid anymore. I was operating from a place when I was vulnerable in my childhood and I believed those words. As an adult I was able to stop that fear by realizing that person wasn’t someone that I should have ever listened to. It wasn’t rational to still think that I would be a failure because, I’m not. I have already proven that person wrong so why was I still holding onto that fear? I let it go.

Once we are able to let go of the things that we are afraid of, we are able to enter into a better place in our lives. A place where we are able to grow, love, and truly appreciate the beauty and the gifts that have always been around us but were unable to see before because we were too preoccupied with our fears. Let go of the fears that are holding you back and reclaim your power to choose your own destiny. Embrace the new energy you will find from letting go of old issues and continue to grow in a place of love and fearlessness.

3 comments:

  1. Well written, I found this blog by mistake but I have to be honest, I'm hooked :)

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  2. @anonymous I'm happy you are hooked :) Thanks for commenting and welcome!

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